2009 Golden Globes - The Top 10 Red Carpet Serious Misses
by Liz McGrath posted on January 13, 2009I only have one thing to say: WTF were you thinking ladies???
1. Beyonce – looked a hot mess in this Elie Saab gown. The perfect example of how thursting your titties up to your neck and slashing your dress to your thigh will always make you like like a hoe, even if it cost hundreds of thousands. A shame.
2. Miley Cyrus – her parents should be ashamed of themselves, seriously. This kid has only just turned 16 years old and im sure she will totally go off the rails in the next two years. This Marchesa gown in itself is actually very pretty and needn’t have been worn with whatever ridiculous push-up bra Miley has chosen to wear underneath.
3. Christina Applegate – this Roberto Cavalli canary yellow is just way too much, and the overall look is 80’s bridesmaid.
4. Kate Beckinsale – there is soemthing about this woman that gets more irritating as time goeson. This J.Mendel gown is a joke. What is this meant to be, an impression of Swan Lake? And what’s with the Posh Spice hair and pout impression? She looks like she can’t really walk in this and isn’t having any fun at all. I would borrow her on-trend oversize earrings though.
5. Glen Close – I adore Glen Close but this is really unforgiveable. It’s the Golden Globes, Glen! Not an Elton John impersonation party. It’s apparently from the Armani archives. It definitely should have stayed there. Actually having seen Victoria Beckham and Katie Holmes both in horrendous dresses from the Armani archives in the past, i’m now of the opinion that they should lock the Archives up for good, out of concern for our eyeballs.
6. Anne Hathaway – sometimes Anna really bores me to tears. At other times she dazzles but this feathered satin rustle affair is just so safe and boring. Not surprsingly it comes form my least favorite label in the world: Giorgio Armani Prive. Guaranteed to add 20 years onto any woman that wears it.
7. Megan Fox – I get it that Megan is sexy. That she has a killer body. That she has tattoos. That she’s kissed girls. Blah blah blah. But this second-skin gold Ralph Lauren dress with it’s seriously low scoop neck, is just too too much. She looks trashy. Megan is naturally very sexy, so she needs a dress that doesn’t double that factor to the point it becomes too much. Tone it down a notch, and she could look fabulous.
8. Susan Surandon – this Hugo Boss tux, combined with a satin bra that was way too low, is not a good look for Susan. She must be in her mid 50s and seeing that much titty didnt look classy. The sunglasses she left on were also a travesty, and the shoes could have been better.
9. Heidi Klum – This just goes to show you, that being a Supermodel doesnt mean you can get away with everything. This vintage Galanos dress might have worked at a cocktail party but not the Golden Globes – the red flower was rather ridiculous and the Christian Louboutin were serious over-kill.
10. J.Lo – It’s almost as if in this Marchesa gown she wanted to go dressed like a Golden Globe herself. The plunging-neckline is reminiscent of that green Versace gown she once wore to the Grammys back when she was Diddy’s hoe. She looked like a tranny then and she does now. She was obviously desperate to show everyone she had lost the twins baby weight. However a dress that cuts away at the sides and the back is very unforgiving – pics of her ‘back-fat’ are now appearing. If she’d gone for something more classsy she would have wowed everyone, as it is, she made us roll our eyes. She looked just a little too keen to let us all know that J.Lo is back, bitches.
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